Hollywood’s Portrayal of Love

I’ve been told that fated love doesn’t exist, without ever fully believing it. After all, the concept of being in love with a fated soulmate sounds euphoric, and Hollywood agrees, profiting from grand, unrealistic displays of true love. Things like wedding crashes and boombox serenades distort our understanding of what love actually looks like. More cinematically dangerous is the infamous portrayal of “love at first sight.” In real life, love rarely announces itself at the beginning, and it develops quietly, over time. “…Genuine connections require time, effort, and a willingness to explore each other’s personalities, flaws, and dreams,” writes Gen Z journalist Aditi Desai.

Social media (and the ‘three-month rule’)

From movies to dating apps, people often use it as an excuse to avoid investing time, energy, and care in a long-term relationship. In Gen Z dating culture, there’s an unspoken “three-month rule”: if the sparks fade by day 90, the relationship is not worth pursuing. The rule invents an imaginary clock, counting down the days until the butterflies disappear. It isn’t entirely misguided, as humans naturally want to chase after the dopamine that once came so easily. But rules like this often shield us from discomfort more than they protect us from real incompatibility.

However, at what point does this mindset become extreme? While Hollywood laid the blueprint for instant on-screen connections, social media reinforces them in real life. Through a screen, it’s easy to create an idealized version of yourself: one that freely experiments with corny pickup lines on their recent Hinge match—or compliments a handsome stranger’s looks under an Instagram post. People’s boldness online might suggest that modern dating culture is thriving. Yet research suggests otherwise.

Loneliness among young adults in the US is surprisingly common: nearly “2/3 of young men and 1/3 of young women aged 18–29 are lonely in the US… More and more people (up to 20%) are reporting having no close friendships at all.”

This helps explain why so many expect love to feel effortless—if it doesn’t, it must not be ‘right’. Over time, this expectation has influenced how people interact. Growing up reliant on technology, we often communicate online, using slang and jokes that rarely spark deep conversation. The language of performance carries into real life, making authentic conversations harder and long-term relationships rarer. When both people are constantly performing, how can a relationship grow naturally?

Three Stages:

When you first meet someone you’re interested in, there are three stages—initiation, exploration, and uncertainty. I find exploration to be the most exciting. It’s the mundane discovery of finding out how they like their coffee, to the band they used to love in middle school. Unlike Hollywood’s promise of love staying fiery forever, it settles. People often say their partner “changed” after marriage, but more often it’s familiarity. There are fewer discoveries, but there’s a deeper comfort in knowing someone’s habits, both old and new. When relationships are rushed, there’s less room for that comfort to develop. Being honest feels risky, and flaws feel harder to get used to. An imaginary clock begins to tick—until being with your partner feels forced instead of natural.

A Reality Check from ‘Eternity’

In recent watches, the film Eternity beautifully portrayed the transparency of ‘true love’. Elizabeth Olsen, one of my favorite actresses, delivers a monologue that would eventually inspire this entire article. She breaks down the Hollywood fantasy of love being all smiles and contentedness. Instead, it’s the mundane reality of mortgages and extra mouths to feed if you’re to have a kid, as well as inevitable losses, whether it’s a loved one or a job. Ultimately, it’s willing to stay and work through challenging situations, even when they feel unfamiliar.

“It was everything, but… Love isn’t just one happy moment. Right? It’s a million. And it’s bickering in the car, and supporting someone when they need it, and it’s growing together, and looking after each other” (Eternity).

“Does ‘fated love’ exist?”

I’ve been asking myself this very question, and exploring it helped me realize that while true love does exist—it’s duller, and more complicated. It doesn’t come in a box of fireworks. Sparks don’t fly when you meet them, and a red string isn’t connecting you through life, no matter how far away you live or how different your lives may be. True love may not be written into fate, but it asks something harder of us: to stay open, risk disappointment, and to stay anyway because love continues to grow even when the initial “spark” subsides.